Do You Know Why You're a Doula?
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Transcript
Welcome to doula tips and tips. This podcast is a place where we answer one question about doula work, both to support you and to help you support your clients. I'm Kaylee Harrod. I've been supporting families in this perinatal space since my oldest was born, 12, nearly 13 years ago.
I am a birth and postpartum doula childbirth educator, La Leche League leader, and a doula coach. I love guiding and supporting doulas as they work out their doula business. It is a tremendous joy to be trusted in this way.
Thank you for joining us on this journey. Welcome back to doula tips and tips. Today's episode is about why you're a doula. Do you even know why you're a doula? Now, I'm sure some of you are thinking, obviously Kaylee, I do know why I'm a doula, right?
But what I mean is, can you like really clearly articulate that? Are you a doula because you love people giving birth? Are you a doula because it's really important for you to advocate for folks? Are you a doula because you care a lot about the maternal health crisis and that matters to you until you want to, you know, increase mortality, increase mortality, increase, decrease mortality rates?
I always get that confused because that word sounds to me like you shouldn't be dying, but I think it's the opposite. What I mean is, increase the amount of people who are giving birth safely. Let me just be really clear.
So what I want you to think about today is why do you actually do what you do and have a compelling way to explain that to someone, right? Now, why are we doing this today? Because as you know, I have a workshop coming up on September 19th at 1pm Eastern.
That workshop is all about doula consultations. Doing them well, doing them clearly, having them be controlled and concise, etc. and therefore having lots more people hire you. Part of that is very clearly articulating what you do and how you do it.
I have like a doula spiel, I would say at this point, right? Like there are certain topics that I have like a soapbox about. One of them is doula work. Like I think that people should be supported and educated prior to this life -changing event of birth and postpartum.
that is part of my spiel, right? I think people should be educated and supported prior to this life -changing event of birth and postpartum. I also think that it reduces trauma to center a patient all throughout that process and that is one of the most important parts of why I do this work.
Now how I say that and when I say it might be a little bit fluid depending on the conversation but I have some very key talking points that are parts of why I do what I do. A big thing that I do is try to work myself out of a job.
This is another thing I talk to people about. I want someone to feel confident walking away from my services knowing that they actually do have the skills needed to do this work well and to be a parent well and to have a kid that they're thriving with etc.
I don't want them to feel like they can only do it because I'm there with them because that is not a sustainable feeling and I don't want dependency. I want clients that feel really amazing about being parents by the time I leave them.
Okay so those are some of the things for me. I want you to take some time to think about yours. Is it because of some kind of experience you've had? Is it because of some things that you are like passionate about?
Is it due to some kind of personality trait that you have? I think it's really important to identify this and then be to be able to articulate it in a way that isn't just about you. What I mean when I say that is how does it benefit your clients that you do your doula work for this reason?
Let me give you an example because I realized that might be kind of a confusing sentence. We're going to get into this a little bit more in the next episode actually well next Friday's episode because you know we're continuing on with Wednesday guests which makes me so happy.
So let's say for me I talk about patient -centered care right. The reason I talk about patient -centered care is because it's trauma informed reduces the rates of trauma. What does that mean for my clients?
It means that I want to reduce the instance of triggering past trauma and reduce the instance of getting new trauma in the midst of this birth experience right. Do we control that? No we don't but part of why I have patient -centered care as a pillar of my work as a doula is that that results in the least amount of trauma for my clients in ways that we can control right.
So I'm not talking about that just about my benefit right. I'm not talking about that for about my own trauma about my own you know birth experiences. I'm talking about that in terms of their experience and prevention of trauma on their part.
So when you're thinking about the reason that you are a doula one of the things I want you to think about is how does this impact the person that I'm wanting to do this with because if I say to you like oh my gosh I really love seeing people give birth well how does that benefit them right like and I mean I don't mean that in a mean way.
I mean if someone said to me I want to be a doula because I love watching people give birth I would A be like oh okay. But you could do that on YouTube, right? Like you can watch birth videos. Do you just want to observe people?
Because that's a little creepy to me. Now, I don't mean that that's actually a creepy reason to be a doula. What I mean is articulating it like that is creepy. Because I'm not a doula because I want to see people give birth.
I love birth. I think birth is amazing. But I'm a doula because I want the people giving birth to have support and education, right? That's different. And I'm not communicating to my clients. I just love watching babies be born.
I'm communicating to them that I want this moment of you having a baby to be surrounded with support and education. That's why I'm there. And yeah, I love birthdays. I love babies being born. I love newborns, right?
That's just kind of the icing on the cake. Most of my clients are like, well we assume you love that because you're here doing it all the time, right? But I'm not coming to them saying, I'm doing this work and I want you to let me do this work with you because I really love it.
Because how does that, what does that do for them, right? What does that mean for them? So what you're wanting to articulate here is how your passion and desire and being a doula is actually translating into services and care for them that are impacting them in a positive way.
Because oftentimes we talk about ourselves. And when we talk about ourselves, we make it about us. And so what you want to really hone into with your doula clients is how is this about them? Because this whole process should be about them.
It's not about you. And if you're a doula because you want to like deal with your own trauma and birth and things like that, I would honestly argue, and I say this with so much love and compassion, that you need to work through some of that trauma before you're in the birth room with other people.
Because it's not about you. And if you're going in with it being about you, that could be really detrimental to the person who's actually having a baby in that day, right? Actually in the midst of delivery, who needs your unconditional support in the midst of that, who isn't going to want for you to be processing your trauma at the same time.
Now, granted, I'm not saying that none of us are ever dealing with trauma in the midst of a birth. We are. We absolutely are, right? There are things that come up for me at lots of births. I leave many births very happy for them and also like a little sad for myself that I never got to have that experience.
It's not something that impacts how I care for my clients, but there's a little piece of me every time I see a beautiful unmedicated vaginal delivery that like is a little bit sad that I didn't get to even try that, you know?
And I'm not going to share my story today, but if you've been here for a while, you've heard bits and pieces of it throughout the years. But I think that's different than feeling like I need to fix the thing that happened at my birth, right?
Or I need to fix what happened in my scenario. You can't do that for one. And for two, that is very much centering you instead of centering them. And I would argue that's where a lot of mistreatment comes in the midst of birth and accidents happen in the midst of birth because people are coming with all sorts of trauma, whether it's providers, OBs, midwives, nurses, etc.
And we as doulas do not want to be one more group bringing our own trauma and kind of centering our own experience in the midst of this, okay? So that became a little bit of an opinion piece instead of just asking a question.
But to bring it back to the actual topic, I want you to think through why you are a doula and how does that impact your clients? How do you communicate that in a way that your clients are going to be like, oh, you do this because of this and that's how this impacts me.
Now, next Friday, we are going to talk about what do you do for your clients? Like, what are the actual things you do for them? So that you can articulate that really clearly. Remember that all of this is working you up to being ready for that consultation workshop.
On September 19th at 1 p .m. Eastern, that workshop is free. It's done online, but I teach it live with you so that you're really like getting to interact with me and all of that. I will be recording it, so in case a baby comes or something like that.
you won't miss out on it. But I never record the question and answer portion because I like people to feel comfortable just asking questions, knowing that just the people who are there are the ones hearing those questions and hearing the answer to those questions.
So you do miss out on that very last bit if you're not there live um but you can access the recording for a whole week afterwards. So you do have a week to re -watch it if you for some reason can't show up live in the moment.
So September 19th, 1 p .m. Eastern, go to the show notes, click on the link, sign up for that now and I will see you in the solo episode next Friday. Thanks for joining us for this episode of the doula tips and tits podcast.
If you learned something today or had an aha moment we'd love for you to share that on Instagram and tag us at hara doula so we can celebrate alongside you. If you found this podcast helpful we would so appreciate you taking a second to leave a rating and a review on your favorite podcast app.
That helps other doulas find us as we do this work together. This podcast is intended as educational and entertainment. It is not medical advice or business advice. Please consult your own medical or legal team for your own needs around your health and your business.
We'll see you again soon.
Don’t miss the FREE Doula Consultation Workshop: 3 Proven techniques to increase client conversions. This 1 hour workshop will teach you how to show up with confidence and ultimately get more “HELL YES” responses! Sign up today!
https://harroddoulaservices.thrivecart.com/doula-consultations-workshop-pod/
As a business owner it’s imperative that you know your own story. Why are you doing this work? What made you decide to be a doula in the first place? Why do you love it? What lights you up about this work? These are all questions that must be answered in order to adequately show your true passion in your doula consultations and other conversations.
Quote from the show:
“Are you a doula because you love people giving birth? Are you a doula because it's really important for you to advocate for folks? I have like a doula spiel, I would say at this point, right? Like there are certain topics that I have like a soapbox about. One of them is doula work. Like I think that people should be supported and educated prior to this life -changing event of birth and postpartum. that is part of my spiel, right? I think people should be educated and supported prior to this life -changing event of birth and postpartum. I also think that it reduces trauma to center a patient all throughout that process and that is one of the most important parts of why I do this work. Now how I say that and when I say it might be a little bit fluid depending on the conversation but I have some very key talking points that are parts of why I do what I do. A big thing that I do is try to work myself out of a job.”
CONNECT with Kaely on TikTok or Instagram
https://www.tiktok.com/@doulacoach
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Kaely Daily is produced by Kaely Harrod of Harrod Doula Services
It is sponsored by The Birth Prep Blueprint Childbirth Class
Music by Madirfan: Hidden Place on Pixabay
