So You Think You Want To Be A Doula With Bianca Sprauge
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Transcript
Welcome to Dula Tips and Tits, the podcast where we cut through the noise and get real about what it takes to build a sustainable doula business. I'm Kaylee Harrod. I've been a doula informally for 14 years and full time for seven.
Around here, we don't sugarcoat stuff. We talk autonomy, owning your worth, creating a business that works for you. No fluff, no burnout, just the honest truth on how to be your own best boss. Let's get into today's episode.
Hello and welcome back to Doula Tips and Tits. We have a lovely guest today, Bianca Sprog. Am I saying your last name, right? I should have asked you that for the episode.
like an A, like they do like a Sprague. Like Sprague. Yeah.
what's St. Nog, but right. You sounded fancy. I'm from the Midwest. I live in the East. I have a little mess of accents. Well, she is from Bibomia. She's the founder of Bibomia. And we're going to chat about how to figure out if you should even be a doula.
That's kind of our topic for today. Bianca, I would love for you to share with listeners how you got into this space of birth work.
Oh, my story, I love my story. I mean, it was riddled with a lot of ups and downs. And also thank you for having me on the podcast. Before I just jump in, real happy to be here. Yeah, I had both a passion and a necessity in my journey.
And so I don't, I saw my sister born in my parents' basement. My mom had an illegal home birth in 1988. And I fell in love with birth. Like I just thought it was the coolest thing. My dad filmed it with our like giant video camera, like on the shoulder, you know, they're the same size as like news anchor ones now, like they're giant.
And anyway, he was filming away. And there's footage of me holding this, some weird nut butter hippie sandwich in my hand while I'm playing with the placenta in the sink. Like I just was like in heaven, eating my meat butter sandwich played with the placenta.
Like, I was like, I have found my calling, but somewhere in there, I don't know what happened. I thought you should be a doctor because, which I don't know why, because these were undocumented midwives, doulas.
Like it was like a witchy circle of magical divine feminine energy. And I was like, yeah, doctors do this. So I started trudging along being prepping, doing my pre -med, like ready to go to medical school.
And then due to me not asking the right questions, I had a health scare and I thought, oh, I should have a baby right now because I misunderstood my doctor because I didn't know about informed consent.
I didn't know the right questions, self -advocacy. I was 25, 26. Anyway, so I got pregnant and I had a baby. And I had a baby with somebody that I should not have had a baby with. He's a pretty garbage human.
And my birth changed me. Like I couldn't believe what happened to me, but I also found myself now knowing that I probably couldn't go to medical school at this point. Like the reality, I had no social support, no financial support and a newborn.
And I lived far away from my family. So I was racking my brain of what I could do because my house wasn't safe for me to stay in. So I knew I had to make money and I had to make money fast. And I needed to find something that would work with the fact I had literally like a 10 day old baby strap to me.
And I kept thinking like this pull of this devastation that I had to give up my dream of medical school. But at the same time, I was like, there was something nagging being like medical school was never the thing that was going to put you in the space you want it to be in.
But I was like, foggy, new baby, pacing, crying mainly, what am I gonna do? And then the universe will help me out and just sent me like the message being like, Adula, call me Adula. And I'm so grateful.
I'm just grateful I was open and I was listening in that moment because honestly y 'all dual work changed my life. It saved my life. It saved my daughter's life. And now almost 20 years later, like I can't believe what I built.
Like I have a movement that's in as of yesterday, 52 countries, like that's the reach that it's had but I would have never thought that that was what was gonna happen in standing in Toronto in 2007 with a newborn postpartum depression and domestic violence.
And so, you know, I really love talking about what birth work can do for somebody. Like not only are you changing the lives of families but it changes you in the process. So I'm like really excited about this conversation because there's some parts of my story that I would have probably stayed in a really dark place if it wasn't for birth work and being able to witness what was normal, quote normal,
which was so much more vast than what I thought about what pregnancy is normal. What's normal about birth? What's normal about meeting your baby? What's normal in the postpartum period? And the answer is everything.
And I felt a lot of shame about my experience and it was very redemptive to witness and hold space for so many other women and queer folks through their reproductive health journeys. So we'll touch on that later, but yeah, that's how I gave in to birth work.
I, I love that story because I think there is like, this is such a hobby for some people, you know, and I sort of am the same that like, it was like a life -saving necessary thing. You know, I had decided to become a doula actually the same summer that my husband got laid off and he was the main income of the family.
And I was just like, okay, well, shit. Yeah, let's do this. Let's do this doula. I'm going to make some money, you know. And so there's part of like, what I really value in this work is the fact that you, I mean, owning your own business is like limitless, right?
But also the work that we do with folks opens up their ability to be limitless as well. And I think that like, yes, like the renewed every single time being like, damn, why are we so strong? Like, why do we have so much in us?
I mean, it's still just wild. Like I was at a birth last week and I remember as she was pushing, being like, how does this usually work? Like, how does this work so frequently that like a massive ass baby comes on your edge, like it's huge and she had a big baby.
So I mean, part of it was that, but I'm just like, this is such a wild process and I know it's for hundreds of babies, you know.
I think that still every single time they put a baby on the birthing person's abdomen, however long the cord is, maybe their chest, wherever they like, and they spread their arms out. Yeah, they spread their arms out like I'm here and they're startled and they're like, you know, feeling what it's like to extend their limbs.
There's every time I look at that moment, and I'm like, that was just inside you. That person wasn't really here. I mean, they were here, but not here. There's another person on this planet alive. I'm like, I just got to watch this.
I know it sounds so wild. So like, oh, yeah, when you say it, but like when you're standing that moment, it blows my mind. It's like, people with uteruses were magic, like women. Oh my God. I can see why the patriarchy needed to get under their thumb real quick.
Because there's nothing we can't do.
Yeah, totally. Totally. I on the flip side, I do very firmly empathize with people that want to like, get the baby out of their body because they feel like an alien is growing because I'm like, Yeah, it is.
Yeah. Weird. Yes.
I felt like that in my pregnancy. I used to like poker all the time being like, I just feel like this is so gross to me. And I'm like, woo woo. And I kind of like, this sticks me out. There's a person moving in my abdomen.
I actually sometimes can't think about it. Cause it gives me the same feeling when I think of space being going on forever. But I have to just be like, shut it down, find the thought stuff. I feel like it's too much.
Ground myself.
Yeah, at some point I was like, Oh, yeah, we're all just kind of a thread from tipping over into that psychosis, like, because you aren't literally creating life in your body and you can't get away from it.
It's terrible. On the other hand, it's crazy and wild and miraculous.
I know it's a yes and all over the place. What was it like your first summer when you were starting your business? Like, did you feel, was it stressful having like the financial nipping at your heels?
Like the...
Yeah. And I mean, this is part of why one of the things I talk about a lot in my coaching is like, if you need money fast, working with a reputable agency is a good way to get clients quickly, because that is the only way I quickly started getting people by being available as a backup doula and I mean, now, now as an experienced doula, I'm like, do I want someone as their first birth to go to my clients as their backup,
not, you know, but I mean, those people love me still, which is great, but those early clients, but that day they didn't know they were like my very first official client, you know, I was just super imposter syndrome filled and all of that.
But part of what I like talk about when I talk about this is when you're, when you're starting it, not as a hobby or not as like a side gig and you already have all kinds of other finances, getting in with people who are doing the marketing and have already built that rapport is the fastest way to make money.
And of course there are some really crappy ways to do that. Like some really shitty agencies that don't take good care of their contractors, but, but if you can find someone who you align with and kind of get the benefit of their marketing, I don't think agency pricing is sustainable full time forever, you know, unless this is not your full time income.
And granted I live in DC, it costs a super ton of money. So that's part of it. But I think if you need bills paid this month, next month, like that, that is a good way in many cases to start getting FaceTime with clients and getting some paid work, which is, I mean, that's part of why I talk about that so much is that I think, you know, if you don't have the benefit or the luxury of taking three,
four months to advertise yourself, some get to know people kind of more on the ground, then joining in with someone like that can be a quick way to start making income.
Yeah. I did not do that when I started my business, but I also like, I just wanted for time reference, Facebook was new, websites. I was the only doula with a website and it was one page and it had like a picture of me just and like my logo and my phone number on it.
Like it was, but that was a big deal. Like an electronic business card. Yeah, essentially. Um, but I got a client, I really like inflated sense of self. I actually had a question about, wait, remind me to ask you about first client experience.
Okay. Okay. But I had this very like inflated sense that I was awesome. I mean, I am awesome. So I am, I'm a great doula. So, but I, I felt that like from the jump and, um, so I came out hot and I, I priced myself.
I found out what the highest price doula was in Toronto and I matched it and I did a post on Facebook. That's still when people were like, I'm happy today. And then like, that's what your posts were.
But I put a post saying, I'm a doula. Does anybody know anybody? And I had a client within, I don't know, 90 minutes. Um, that my, somebody that I made from, um, from a mom's group. And she said, my friend is pregnant.
I ended up having three babies with that go. And, um, and I had a thousand dollars and that was a lot of money almost 20 years ago. Like that was, um, that was my, that was my first and last month's rent to get into safe housing.
And, um, and I just found that it went from there. So I do agree with the agency thing. If you are like a feeling, you know, you're shy, like know yourself, but if you also, um, really confident or you're really connected in mom's groups, like if you're con like, if you pop into a mom's group and, and more than a hundred people would know who you are, um, because you're like active in your community,
then just put a post up and see what happens because you already have authority in your community. Um, but you, you have to know, you have to know who you are and what, and how people feel about you.
Like, are you kind of all flowery or are you the mom that brings banana slices with peanut butter on them? Well, we probably can't do that. You know what I mean? Like, are you that parent? It's always that waiting time and you know, like you've already put in your sweat equity to develop yourself as, as somebody that, you know, that's respected and an authority and yeah.
Um, yeah. Yeah. So I think those, as far as getting your first clients, but I have a question for you. I know it was a side salad and then we'll talk about if people are good for dualist, when you reflect back on your first couple of clients.
Yeah. How much of a jump was there from like you with your hundred and 10th client? Like, do you think they got a significantly different level of care?
I mean, so I think the biggest difference between those is my own internal journey because the first couple ones, I felt like I was just bullshitting my way through it. And now I'm like, I knew what the fuck I was doing.
Like I was doing a good job and I am good at it. And part of why they get similar care now to what they got then is that I am actually very good at this just naturally and who I am as a person. Like I show up and give people all of me, you know, which can be really bad for me, right?
There's a shadow side to that for here.
Same same same. Yes. But I mean, the things that are different is like the first couple of births I had were either like massive babies or like posterior babies or something like something that like I now have more tools around and more information about that I can look back on those births and be like, that's what was happening.
That's why it took so long to push that kid out, you know, and so I know that I would have managed it differently and affirmed them differently, but the actual care that they got was what they needed and I don't feel like I mean, I show up with a ton more confidence now, but also that confidence is kind of just like walking into the hospital and tell you like even that stuff where I'm not like, I'm the doula can I go up to labor I'm just like I'm going to floor three guys.
Kathy Rhonda. Hey, good to see you. You know, I'm up to labor. You don't know me. Her baby's coming out. Yeah. I'm sure what room this
in.
Exactly. I'm like, have they put her in a room yet? Come on, let's go. We know the baby's coming. Yeah, so I mean, I think, yes, I have more tools now, but also like the kind of care that they got, even though I felt like I was faking it, like was still genuine and good because, because I like naturally show up in that space that way.
So.
Yeah, I just thought that was I don't know why I've never asked that. And I've talked to literally tens of thousands of doulas in my career. Yeah. But I think it's a good as people are exploring this work, it felt like a good kind of tangent so that you know, because a lot of times, you know, it's the start is what's the scariest part for people.
I train doulas. And just for people listening. And that's a big moment as we train doulas. And I know that even just the conversation with people when they're like, Oh, I really want to be a doula. I've wanted to be a doula for like, five years.
And I'm like, the first step is just get your butt to class. We have lots of class options. So you know, choose what you want, but put your butt in the seat. And then I have the same conversation with my alumni.
And I like will not let my alumni not take that step. I mean, unless they're like, I just had a baby and I have no interest in doing that right now. But if they still feel passionate, that I'm like, let's what step do we need to do to like, make a post get to an agency?
I do want to talk about insurance in this conversation. Yeah, credentialing, like, like, what do you need to do for the next first step, which is get in front of a client. And we have so much fear around it.
But like, once you start, I love a messy start, like just start. Yeah. And then see, like, don't don't think you need your brand and your website and packages perfect, because you might put together a package and nobody wants it because you don't know what people really want yet.
And so just like, I literally put up a post that I'm a birth doula. And then I was like, Well, I guess I should figure out what I say and how often I see them. And I guess I need a contract. I didn't have that yet.
Because I just, I actually thought it would take way longer. Yeah. And I'm like, Oh, whip up a contract. And I mean, now you can go in and see you can go in our store, you can buy a contract template.
But at the time, I didn't know that was the last thing had contracts. No, I yeah, I had them from stay one. I'm a lawyer's daughter. For everything.
I mean, also, like, I love that you highlight that because one thing that I say, like, you know, ad nauseam is, is like, this is your business. So you can change it as much as you want to. Right. And, and my package that I have now, I have refined over many years as a combo of what I want to do with clients and what I think clients need.
And so is there a little flexibility there? Yeah, a little, but I don't give people many options. I'm like, you can take these two parts out. Otherwise, this is what it is. Oh, I'm the same. Initially, I had like four options and you add things in and I went to a cart venue.
Oh, my God. No. Now I'm just like, listen, we got to see me this many times because if we don't see each other that many times, it's going to be a shit show at the park.
Yeah, I know people try to do that too. Even my repeat clients are like, is there a different price if we don't have the prenatals? And I was like, I need, I need the prenatals. These are as much for you as they are for me.
Cause you've changed. This is a different baby. This is a different pregnancy. And my place, my price is not moving. I either do it for free or it's this and the people for free. I've selected with organizations that I know are no income folks.
And otherwise it's $3 ,700. And this is what you get and I don't bring anything in my bag. I tell you what to bring.
I bring I bring my own snacks. Yeah, and a tense machine. That's what I got. I bring a fan. I have a stroller fan for first use, you know, sometimes for me sometimes for them. I also have honey packets.
It's because they come in like a 200 bags.
Well, I buy giant things.
It's mostly like a change of clothes because you might get shit all over me and then yeah
Yeah, my bag is like me stuff, like my snacks, clean underpants, clean socks, changes scrubs. I do, I bring a chapstick, like I buy big packs and so they like, I give it to them if they use it, they don't, but I keep a new one in my pocket for my clients.
And I also bring new hair ties. That's a pretty common thing that I pull out of the new package so they see that. But like everything that I bring, like, you know, those little drawstring bags you're supposed to put like underpants in when in your suitcase.
I have one of those and that's all my client things. So that's like honey sticks, chopstick hair tie. Um, but I used to bring this like hockey bag of stuff. And now I'm like, if you like a scent, Oh, I do keep peppermint, um, to make them go.
Um, but anything else I'm like, make people go pee. Yeah. If you do a drop in the water, when they feel like they can't go pee, it immediately makes them go pee. It's my favorite hack.
How did I not know that I use it? You're welcome. Of course, all the time. But well, Hey, that's going to name this episode peppermint oil makes you.
great. And if this moment y 'all, when you're listening and you're like, why is it called this now? This is the time. Yeah, it's a good, it's a good hack. But I don't, I used to bring so many things, but I ate was like so much work sanitizing things.
And I was like, I don't want to use a wooden back massager on my like multiple clients. No. And so for me, I'm always good.
Like, did I sanitize it sufficiently? Absolutely not. Like, I'm not worrying about bringing you germs. She's stressful. And also, I mean, the reality is, I think over the years, I very firmly, this is something that's different, I suppose, from early to now, is that there's not all that much that you need.
Like, I have a bag full of stuff that I almost never use. Like, I use my money to buy myself food. I use cash so frequently, you know? Yes. And I almost always use my deodorant.
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Building your doula business to survive is a theme in today’s episode. Grinding and building fast because you have to and getting things started are all things we touch on in this episode. I’m joined by the amazing Bianca Spauge of Bebo Mia and she’s sharing all sorts of doula wisdom that you won’t want to miss!
Quote from Bianca
“I think that still every single time they put a baby on the birthing person's abdomen, however long the cord is, maybe their chest, wherever they like, and they spread their arms out. Yeah, they spread their arms out like I'm here and they're startled and they're like, you know, feeling what it's like to extend their limbs. There's every time I look at that moment, and I'm like, that was just inside you. That person wasn't really here. I mean, they were here, but not here. There's another person on this planet alive. I'm like, I just got to watch this. I know it sounds so wild. So like, oh, yeah, when you say it, but like when you're standing that moment, it blows my mind. It's like, people with uteruses were magic, like women. Oh my God. I can see why the patriarchy needed to get us under their thumb real quick. Because there's nothing we can't do. ”
Meet Bianca Sprague:
Bianca Sprague, founder of bebo mia, has been a dedicated educator, author, activist, and doula since 2007. Passionate about accessible pre and postnatal care for marginalized communities, she advocates for mental wellness in families, drawing from her struggle with postpartum depression and family experiences. Bianca champions reproductive health and justice, focusing on breaking down barriers for female and queer entrepreneurs and restoring joy, equity, and safety in family care through her expertise and innovative approaches.
GIFT from Bianca:
dtt for 15% off anything!
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Doula Tips and Tits is produced by Kaely Harrod of Harrod Doula Services
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