Rerun: How Do I Structure A Doula Consultation?
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Transcript
welcome back. This is another one of our rerun episodes. So if you are brand new to this podcast this summer, we are doing rerun episodes because I take the majority of July off. I do some client work.
I'm of course doing some background stuff in my business and working on social media and marketing and all of that kind of stuff like still doing growth planning, you know, but I do take a break from being the solo host on these awesome episodes.
So how we're doing that this year is doing reruns of our most popular episodes over the last two and a half years and giving you some juicy things to go back to. So today's is talking about how I structure a doula consultation.
As a spoiler alert, why do I say that so often? I'm not even sure. I have a class about doula consultations that will be coming back in the fall. So keep an eye out for that. Jump on the episode. I'll see you in the next one.
Welcome to doula tips and tips. This podcast is a place where we answer one question about doula work, both to support you and to help you support your clients. I'm Kaylee Harrod. I've been supporting families in this perinatal space since my oldest was born 12 nearly 13 years ago.
I am a birth and postpartum doula childbirth educator, lalache league leader, and a doula coach. I love guiding and supporting doulas as they work out their doula business. It is a tremendous joy to be trusted in this way.
Thank you for joining us on this journey. Welcome back to doula tips and tips. I am your host, Kaylee Harrod. And today we're jumping into the question, how do I structure a doula consultation? Now, again, I want to just highlight the fact that I am not the one that sets all the rules about these things, right?
So what I'm sharing in this episode is what I do and how I've kind of gotten to that place over the years. I also am going to give you a quick little synopsis of kind of what are some things that people typically ask so that you're ready for those questions.
Okay. Now, I want to start by just telling you a little story. So when I was a brand new doula, I used to do doula consultations and every single one was different. I did not know what to say, how to say it, what to start with, etc.
I was really nervous about it. And I wasn't sure if I should let them lead the conversation or if I should lead the conversation. And it was just all like very awkward. And one kind of joke that I had with my one of my dear friends, who also owns her own business, was that my goodbyes were always super awkward.
And they're still a little bit awkward, but less so now in part because I don't feel like I'm just saying, okay, let me know if you want to hire me like in a super awkward way. So this was also back prior to the pandemic.
So these were usually consultations that were done in person. Very rarely were they done over the phone or on a video call. And so we'd be in person typically at a coffee shop, or sometimes at someone's house.
And I, you know, we would talk and it would finish and then I'd be like, okay, have a nice life. Like I really just would not know what to say to folks to end. Like, I hope you hire me. Maybe I'll see you soon.
Or like, okay, bye. Like I really just struggled. And I remember leaving every doula consultation, just kind of cringing at like, why can I not leave a conversation like a normal person? Right. Um, and it's funny, because folks that hired me in the early days thought it was hilarious, and they loved it.
And I don't know, I should maybe go back and survey them like how awkward was it for you when we first met. And I did my like spiel and then like, bye now. But truly, I like did not know what to say, right.
So I say that today, that if you are currently starting out in this field of doula work, and you're like, Kaylee, I've done a couple consultations, and I feel super awkward every time. That's okay. You are not alone.
Also, if you have never been awkward in a consultation, hats off to you, man, because I, I do not know that life. I had many, many, many, many consultations that I felt so incredibly awkward during them and after them.
So um what I used to do is kind of go into a consultation hoping that I would be able to answer all their questions in a way that made sense and that they like would want to hire me right so I had this sort of feeling of like please hire me like please please please you know I'd really like some clients and if you want to hire me I would love to work with you I don't really care if you actually seem like a good fit I just want clients right and I will say that sort of desperation doesn't help the awkwardness if you if you lean towards awkwardness in your life feeling desperate and awkward is not a great combo so um now I will say one of the things about my consultations is that I feel very comfortable feeling like it's a conversation to get to know each other and that I don't have that same desperation for someone to hire me now I realize that that is a privilege in part because I have a really successful doula business at this point and I am full as full as I want to be every single month right so um I realize that that is in part due to the fact that I've been doing this for many many years so I don't take that for granted I'm not saying that should be the case for you right this minute if you're on your couple months of doula consultations um so how I like to start the conversation now is by giving the floor over to the people that are interviewing me um the potential clients and saying to them I love to start this conversation by hearing what made you decide to look for a doula and I asked this for a couple reasons one is I have found that over the years when you ask that question people essentially give you what they want to know about you and hear from you in their answer which then just navigate or guides I guess the whole conversation after that right um and so so for my sake it's really helpful to hear right away why they're looking for a doula the other thing is that I've mentioned before I get a lot of referrals and so I really love to be able to thank people when they send me a client referral so usually in that initial question someone will say oh well this person sent me your name you came very highly recommended from them or like they were your client or they're another doula and they recommended you or whatever and that's sort of how we're then starting which makes me also able to connect with them about that referral source at the very least like I had one instance where someone said you know midwife told me you're amazing and I was like oh yes I love your midwife like we were able to work together a couple months ago and it was so great and she's really lovely and that's so sweet of her that she sent you my name I'm gonna have to thank her right and so from the very beginning of that conversation we sort of had a mutual friend right we have this connection through the person who referred them to me and we already had that in the referral in the first place but that also helps with the comfort and the sort of initial flow and ease of the conversation during the consultation so that's where I start so I let them tell me you know why are they looking for a doula um what what sort of are they are they wanting right from there I really focus on whatever came up in that answer because sometimes people highlight some trauma sometimes people highlight um a past birth that did not go well sometimes people highlight a past birth that they loved but that doula is no longer available or they don't live in that city anymore or whatever so you can kind of go from there like I'm so glad that you had an amazing doula last time right like that's awesome or something like I'm really sorry that that was your experience last time that sounds super hard people really need to be validated and that's a good and normal thing to need and I think the more we can do that in this work the better in terms of trauma healing anyway but also that's going to help with the doula consultation because the person's going to feel seen and heard because you are seeing and hearing them and you're actually letting them know that that's the case okay So then from there,
I usually say something like, I know you've seen my website because that's how we're on this call together, but would it be helpful for me to kind of just give you a little idea of how I got started in this work and my philosophy around my work as a doula?
Most people are like, absolutely, we would love that. That would be great. And so I go into my background, how I got started in this, why I'm passionate about it, what my sort of lens is that I bring to this work, how I do the support I do.
Now, I don't go into package information here, I just talk about my philosophy. My philosophy, how I sort of angle my client support, if that makes sense. And then I give it back, I give the floor back to the other person and say, I know that you probably have some questions for me and I'm happy to answer those.
What questions can I answer for you? Now, this is the time where everybody differs, right? Some people have like a thousand questions, some people are like, you answered all of my questions and what you just said about yourself.
Some people have looked through every package that's on your website and they know all the details and they have no clarifying questions at all, right? And so it really depends on the person. Sometimes a consultation is almost over at that point because they're like, this is amazing, you're amazing, this has been super helpful, I already know all the details, I'll get back to you kind of thing, right?
Oftentimes people ask things like, are you available for my due date? Do you work at, do you go to the place I'm giving birth at or have you worked with the team that are my providers? Oftentimes people ask things like, well, at this point in the midst of the pandemic, some people ask about safety precautions that you take in your regular life.
If they're really nervous about COVID especially, then that's something that comes up sometimes. Some people ask about like your philosophy or experience around supporting something specific about their experience.
So when I am doing postpartum care for a twin family, they might say, tell me your experience level, with helping caring for twins, I can't say that in a whole sentence, or maybe if they're doing a VBAC, they might say, tell me about your experience with the trial of labor after a C -section, have you helped clients do that?
Are you familiar with that? What is your experience level? And so those are some of the questions that folks might ask you. Now, one thing that I really recommend, if you're super nervous about a doula consultation, is go online and just search questions you should ask your doula when you're hiring them, or questions you should ask at a doula interview, or questions you should ask at a doula consultation,
something like that. You're gonna get a ton of lists, a ton of lists of questions that doulas get asked all the time. Now, what I think is great is you can take those lists and write out answers for them.
And then if you're like, okay, in the moment, I might be really super nervous, then you can go back to that and say, okay, they asked me that question, here is my answer to that question. And I've already kind of thoughtfully answered it in a time when I wasn't feeling super nervous about it, and I wasn't in the middle of the conversation, okay?
So that's one way to prepare. I have not personally experienced someone coming with that entire list. But like if you get a list of 15 questions, for instance, most people ask like five or six. But you can have the answers to all 15, because why not, right?
And then if that gives you peace of mind, that's great. That's wonderful. One thing that lots of people want to know is what happens next? Like what is the next step? How soon do you need to know if they wanna hire you?
When do you expect them to sign a contract? Do you send a contract? What does that look like? So this is my process. So oftentimes towards the end of the conversation, someone will say to me, okay, I know that you already told me you're pretty full for this month, how soon do we need to let you let you know?
And I say to them, I always like to send you my contract as the next step. So I will email that to you right after we get off this call and because I do all of my consultations virtual at this point.
So they're a video call. So I say, I'm gonna send you my contract right after we get off this call because sometimes a contract actually prompts a question. And so if you read through the contract, you have any questions for me, you or your partner can send me an email and let me know and I'm happy to clarify anything.
And then I'll say to them, especially only if this is true, because I am really big about don't lie to people, don't add false scarcity. But I'll sometimes say to folks like, hey, I only have one more spot in August.
And so you're really like, if you hire me, you're the last August person, which means I don't want you to lose the opportunity to have that spot if you really want it. So if someone else reaches out with a due date similar to yours and they're wanting to do a consultation, I'll just give you a heads up.
Never to put any pressure on you to hire me or to speed your decision -making, but because I want you to know that you're going to lose that spot, right? And so that's how I handle that without creating false urgency, without saying, okay, you have to let me know in the next 24 hours, because some folks know by the time they get off the call with you that they want to hire you.
And some people are planning to interview like three to five people and they want to finish those interviews before they decide for certain and both of those things are fine. So I want you to use that kind of as a guide, right?
That's how I run my doula consultations. Okay, so let me go back to my really awkward endings that we started with. So I mentioned before that I did not know how to leave, didn't know how to finish the conversation, right?
One really helpful thing about ending the conversation by saying I'm going to send you something is that I can then say that as I'm getting off the call. So I say something like, okay, look for that email from me and then we can talk more about it soon.
It was so nice to meet you today. Something like that, or like, enjoy the rest of your day. Have an awesome weekend. I hope that you enjoy this beautiful weather. So it is still, there is just a baseline level of awkwardness in my goodbyes that will just always be there and that's okay.
And also I have a very clear thing to say to them because the next thing I want them to do is read the contract in the email. And so I'm not just like, I hope to hear from you soon. Like, let me know if you like me, right?
Like, it used to feel almost like I'm like, please ask me out on another date. You know, that kind of, that kind of nervous energy. And now I'm just like, look for that email. Let me know if you have any questions about the contract and then we'll go from there.
And that's a very clear next step, which makes it so much easier for both me and them to know what to do next. Okay, so that is my, that's my process, my practice of doing doula consultations. I would love to hear your questions around this.
I am happy to dive into the nuances here. If that's helpful, if you have clarifying questions, et cetera, head on over to Instagram, connect with me there and give me those questions, start a conversation with me.
I would be delighted to touch base with you and hear what was helpful, but also help you kind of clarify and, you know, iron out some of the nuances here. So as always, I wish you lovely, wonderful, consent -filled birth and postpartum doula experiences.
And I will see you on the next episode. Thanks for joining us for this episode of the doula tips and tips podcast. If you learned something today or had an aha moment, we'd love for you to share that on Instagram and tag us at hara doula, so we can celebrate alongside you.
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This podcast is intended as educational and entertainment. It is not medical advice or business advice. Please consult your own medical or legal team for your own needs around your health and your business.
We'll see you again soon.
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Doula Consultations can make your break your doula business. They are literally the first impression for how clients feel about having you on their team! This episode goes into how I structure those and how you can set yourself up for success!
Quote from the show:
“So I say that today, if you are currently starting out in this field of doula work, and you're like, Kaely, I've done a couple consultations, and I feel super awkward every time. That's okay. You are not alone. Also, if you have never been awkward in a consultation, hats off to you, man, because I, I do not know that life. I had many, many, many, many consultations that I felt so incredibly awkward during and after them. But this is for the awkward and NOT awkward doulas…”
I mention the ability to book coaching calls with me. Those can be found below:
30 Minute Coaching:
https://calendly.com/harroddoula/doula-coaching-30-minutes?preview_source=et_card&month=2024-06
60 Minute Coaching:
https://calendly.com/harroddoula/doula-coaching-one-off?month=2024-06
CONNECT with Kaely on TikTok or Instagram
https://www.tiktok.com/@doulacoach
https://www.instagram.com/Harroddoula/
If you like this episode, don't forget to share it to your Instagram stories and tag me @harroddoula
Kaely Daily is produced by Kaely Harrod of Harrod Doula Services
It is sponsored by The Birth Prep Blueprint Childbirth Class
Music by Madirfan: Hidden Place on Pixabay
